By Dina Aldabbagh

Our lives are truly nothing more than what we allow to be here. Every single thing you do is a part of what makes up your life. The clothes you wear out, the pjs you wear to bed, the perfume you put on, the jewelry around your wrists, the way you speak to yourself, the way you do your hair, the food you eat, the drinks you drink, the media you consume, the types of conversations you carry, the tone in your voice, the types of connections you entertain — it all is a part of the building blocks of your life. 

Think of it like lego pieces. One lego piece is just a single color. A rectangle. Stand alone, it isn’t much. But with the right amount and color of lego pieces of your choosing, you can form endless creations. You can make anything out of legos these days, and similarly you can make anything out of your life. 

Every one of your little tiny choices does mean something to you. It is not a means to an end; you do not do each individual thing to make your life into something, but rather you do every little thing to the ultimate creation of your life. Everything is in and of itself, the end. Everything you do is the point. And the point is to feel the kind of feeling you want in your life. Wearing the clothes that make you feel good, drinking the coffee that makes you feel good, speaking in the way that makes you feel good — it is all done for its own purpose. You do each of these things just because it makes you feel good. 

The interesting thing is that you simply have to apply your preference to everything in your life and suddenly, your life looks exactly like you want. Let what you want manifest. Wear the clothes and accessories that represent how you want to show up in the world. Listen to the music that sets the tone you want to feel for the day. Read the literature that you want turning around in your mind. It’s so very simple. You create your dream life by just letting whatever you want be what is in every possible opportunity.

And sure, sometimes things will happen that are simply outside of our control and we can’t change them. But the secret is that you don’t need to change them. In every single moment, all you need to do is choose whatever you prefer. Fill your life with everything you want, and your life will be everything you want.

All those moments that you can’t change or do anything about, you just have to not pour into them. Don’t pay them more energy than you want them to have. What you give energy to is what you give form in front of you. It is literally what you allow to manifest. If you want less of something, the key isn’t to express your distaste for it, it is to ignore it. All complaining does is give it more space in your life, your reality, your present moment.

Think of it like this, your present moment is all you have right? That’s all we are ever experiencing at once: the present. One moment at a time. If something happens that you don’t like, it only lasts a certain amount of moments. By complaining, you’re dragging that past annoyance into the present. You’re making it real to your current moment by continuing to look at it. If you want something to stop existing to you, stop experiencing it. Stop looking at it, stop smelling it, stop hearing it, stop touching it, and stop thinking about it. Remove all your senses from it, and you are no longer experiencing it. 

Now, suddenly, it’s a thing that may exist, but it’s not your experience. You’re not looking at it, so you’re not seeing it. You’re not listening to it, so you’re not hearing it. You’re not thinking about it, so you’re not focusing on it. It’s just…not real to you anymore. The things you dislike will fade away when you no longer give them attention. 

Your reality is what you look at. Your reality is what you see. Your reality is what you experience, and what you experience is made up of what you see, think about, smell, and touch. If you choose to look away, get up and move away from it, think about it in a different frame — then that’s what your reality is. 

I was on the metro one day and in the open seat next to me, a man sat down who smelled very bad. Although I tried ignoring it, I couldn’t even stand the smell, so I had to get up. I got up and stood for a stop, and then just a moment later, a seat directly across from him opened up, on the other side of the aisle. I sat down. I could no longer smell him.

I could only smell him because he came and sat down right next to me, so that bad smell was very real to me. But all I had to do was get up from my seat and move a few feet away. Boom — I couldn’t smell him anymore. It stopped being real to me. Maybe the other people next to him could smell him, so it was a part of their experience, but it wasn’t a part of mine. And once I moved, I didn’t smell anything rancid. And all I had to do? Move away from him. Then his bad smell stopped existing to me. It still existed in the grand scope of reality, but that wasn’t my experience. 

This is manifestation. Your life is what you give your attention to. If you don’t look at it, it’s not real to you anymore. Therefore, “manifesting” is just choosing what you want to look at. What you want to give energy to. If you give energy to drama — if you look at drama — then you see more drama in your life….because that’s what you’re looking at. 

If you don’t want something, all you have to do is move away from it. That’s all. Not try to fix it. Not lecture it. Not complain about it. Not justify your dislike. Just move away. Then…that stops being your reality. 

This isn’t denying reality, it’s selecting it. You note it, and then you pivot. And you don’t have to make it mean anything bad. You don’t have to give it a story, to think anything about it. You can just move, and let that dead the trail right there. With the man that smelled bad, if I complained to myself, if I began telling myself stories like all people in the city are dirty or the world is gross or anything, then I would have allowed negative energy to be what was present for me. Instead, I didn’t think. I just acted. I just moved and the smell stopped being real to me — because I was no longer next to him, because I pivoted. Rather than stewing in negativity, I just acted based on my preference. My preference was, “I want to smell scents that don’t disgust me.” That’s it. Simple as that. It didn’t need to be deeper. 

You don’t have to make a judgment about it. By staying neutral on things, not giving them too much attention — aka energy — then you allow them to just change. Not to be anything more to you than: different. No story. No emotional reaction. No judgement. Just neutrality. Just something else. A different manifestation of reality. 

Any reality that is not exactly what you want only exists to you because you are looking at it. That is your frame of perspective, your viewport. If you don’t look at it, it’s not in your present reality. It may be in the energy around you, but it’s not real to you because you’re not looking at it. Your reality is what you see — and what you smell, what you touch, what you think about. You can choose not to touch it. I can choose to smell the disgusting smell and think about it, or simply get up and move. My reality is only ever what I’m experiencing. It may be around me, but if I’m not experiencing it…then it doesn’t exist. Not to me at least. to other people, sure. But I’m choosing to look away and look at what I want to look at. 

There’s that meme of two guys looking out the bus windows. One is looking out into the beautiful landscape and the other is looking at a wall of rock. One is joyfully viewing his surroundings and the other is not. The key is that it doesn’t matter where you’re sitting, you can still turn your body, turn your head, and readjust your eyeline to face what you want more of. 

If you’re looking at it, you’re giving it permission to stay. You’re essentially saying, “more of this.” Of course, there will be times that things happen out of our control that need our handling, but my advice is to let that moment end as soon as possible. Let it end. Don’t drag it into your present reality for longer than it absolutely needs by continuing to ponder over it.

Did you know that atoms behave differently when observed? When atoms are unobserved, they move like waves. When they are observed, they take form. They behave like discrete particles. By looking at it, you are literally giving it form. Looking at it gives it the form that makes it real to your reality — that makes it exist for you in a definable way. If you want it to stop being real to you, stop looking at it. Take away your observation and you take away its form. 

Remain neutral about all you do not like, allowing the moment of its form to end as soon as possible, and focus solely on what you want more of. Buy the clothes, eat the food, live in the places, go to the school, have the friends, go to the restaurants, drink the coffee, wear the shoes, go to sleep at the time, read the literature, and consume the media that makes you feel good. If you want to feel good, simply do more of what makes you feel good. Give energy to that which you want in your life. 

This is how you create a life you love. You just include more and more and more of what is aligned with who you want to be. You want to feel comfortable? Sleep in satin sheets. You want to feel powerful? Exercise. You want to feel smart? Intake content that opens your awareness. You want to feel hot? Wear the clothes for it. Every single thing you do should be intentional. Not effortful, but intentional. “More of this, less of this.” If something doesn’t make you feel good, take away the only thing that gives it life: your attention. 

Let your focus be the filter for addition and subtraction. This is how you manifest. “Manifest” just means for something to exist clearly, to be easily perceivable — i.e. to be here. You do choose exactly what is here for you, and your attention is the filter. If you look at it, it manifests. If you look away, it is no longer “here” for you. In the existence of the universe? Sure. But you only have two eyes, you can only perceive so much at once. Just shift your perception. 

Which one are you?