By Dina Aldabbagh

You are on your own path. This is important for you to know. You are on your path. John is on John’s path, not David’s. In your life, especially in your 20s, you will be tempted to compare your decisions to that of others — try to resist this urge. It makes sense, this inclination to compare, because we don’t have enough evidence to yet know our decisions are good ones. This is where God comes in.

It’s so easy to overthink every choice, because…how do you know? You don’t. We don’t know enough to make completely informed decisions. We just know enough to make the next decision, the best one for right now. We don’t know the state of the future, which is a large influence on what will happen. You don’t actually know when you graduate university what state the economy will be in and whether you’ll be able to get a job right away. You don’t know that if you take that job that they won’t let you go after six months. You don’t know who the person you’re choosing to marry will be in 20 years. 

You don’t know. You just don’t. But that’s not your burden to bear. It’s too much pressure for you, with the limited perspective you have in the grand scheme of things, to try to make all the “perfect” decisions. Leave it up to God. In order to do so, you will have to trust. This letting go of trying to figure it all out yourself does have the prerequisite belief that God has your back. You must first believe that God orders your steps, and will take care of you when the time comes. You cannot let go of that pressure until you believe that God is the one guiding you, and you’re not all on your own.

If there’s one thing I could tell someone who questions why they should believe in God, I guess I would say it’s so that you can feel the relief. The kind of relief that comes when you genuinely believe that God is taking care of you and everything will work out for you is immeasurable. And this is a slightly different belief than merely believing in the existence of God. This is true faith. True trust. Reliance. 

Honestly, I do think that believing there is something out there that is taking care of things alongside you and you are therefore not alone is absolutely crucial in order to let go of the pressure to try to make perfect decisions. You just don’t have the necessary perspective to be able to do so successfully. Therefore, believing that there is something — God, an energy, the universe — that does have that perspective and is ensuring your well-being allows you to let go. Then, every decision is a perfect decision, because it’s led by something much larger than you.

But let go, you must. We compare, deliberate, doubt, but there is no level of certainty that you can have right now that can accurately predict the state of everything in the world in the future. You do, however, have this secret weapon right now. Yes, God, but I mean something more specific. It is a particular tool that, when used properly, is your unfailing compass.

Have you watched the Pirates of The Caribbean? Jack Sparrow has this compass that doesn’t point north, and yet is the most valuable and sought after tool in the entire series: it is a compass that points to what you want most. It shows the way there. Therefore, you don’t need to A) know where the thing is, and B) use a compass to direct you to that address. Rather, you just need this compass that cuts out the middle man of needing to know its location, because instead, you are being taken directly there.

You have this compass. It doesn’t point to the cardinal north, but it points to your true north: your desire. What you want is your compass. It shows you the way. This, you must trust, and it will set you free. Because then ultimately, you don’t need to find the “perfect” decision — that will guarantee an outcome — you just need to know what you want. That alone will take you there. That alone will guide the decisions, just as desire guides Jack Sparrow’s compass. 

It can be excruciatingly hard to believe that your desires are safe for the first time. We doubt ourselves so much, so much. “How do I know this desire is from God? How do I know this is good to want? How do I know I should want this?” Ah… “should,” “good”….the best pressure inducing words there are. You just need to believe. 

You simply must trust that there is nothing wrong with you, and therefore nothing wrong with your desire — even if it is different from others’. Because at the end of the day, the thing that is right for you is the thing that you want. That’s the life that feels bearable for you to live. Not someone else’s desires come manifest — yours. If you’re following their decisions, their path, whose desires are you allowing to manifest? 

That’s the key, is it not? Your desires are yours because they point you towards what is right for you. So…how could your desires be wrong then? They could be uninformed, sure. Then they just need experience to show them something else that’s actually more right. But regardless, following that desire will only lead to more truth — either more clarity for what you do really want or more of a sense of “rightness” found by living in that desire.

The truth is: you know what you want. You just don’t know if it’s right. You doubt its validity, morality, or intelligence, but you know. If you feel confused it’s only because you don’t want to be honest about what you actually want — even if just with yourself — because you feel dumb, wrong, or immoral for wanting it. But being honest is the first step. Jack Sparrow’s compass doesn’t work unless the person clearly knows what they want. Otherwise, if they can’t hone in on what that desire actually is, the compass hand starts flying all over the place.

Let me be your permission slip today — if you want it, it’s right for you. Yes, even if it seems dumb. Yes, even if nobody else is doing that. You are living a uniquely individual life. Your path is not like others’ paths. Your life will come together in ways that you cannot even imagine today. You will never be able to predict it. No decision you make today will ever be informed enough, because you could have never thought it up. 

So, instead, today the only real task you must commit to is to follow your desire. No, today’s task isn’t to make the perfect decision, the perfect plan. It’s just to follow your desire. Fear will tell you you’re making a huge mistake, but if you give life, and God, a chance, you will see that you were actually perfectly informed. Your desire told you everything you needed to know. 

Desire is a step. It doesn’t tell you the itemized list of everything you need to do to get there. It’s responsive, it adjusts. It’s not predictable. It’s not going to look like someone elses’. And yet that is the only way to surely land in a future life that is right for you.

Be honest to your desire, your life, your path — and also, believe that God has your back. He is setting you up in ways you can’t even imagine, you just have to be willing to trust that little quiet voice that says, “but this is what I want.” That desire is not random. It’s right.